I vampire

This morning I went into Starbuck's and ordered a red (I said with a wink) latte with a straw. They seemed horrified and couldn't oblige me, so I left. I will get back at them for that later.

the mafia, fly poo, and liars

Quotation of the day, from Michael on The Office: "If there is one thing I hate more than the mafia it's a liar. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. Bury them in my yard. And I wouldn't tell the cops a thing. Not that I would be lying per se but I would just get really quiet all of a sudden."

Heard recently at work: "He loves to separate fly poo from pepper."

Righteous Uses of Violence and Taste Test

Aubrey, Rebekah, and I had a blind water taste test. ("Cooler" is Deer Park.) Here are the results:

Smart Water won. It has a slight minerally taste, probably from the added electrolytes.



I would love to write a book called Righteous Uses of Violence. 1 Nephi 4:13 in the Book of Mormon says, "Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief." What are your favorite disturbing and gory stories from the scriptures? I would highlight the following:

• Shiz. "And it came to pass that when they had all fallen by the sword, save it were Coriantumr and Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with the loss of blood.
  
  And it came to pass that when Coriantumr had leaned upon his sword, that he rested a little, he smote off the head of Shiz.
  
  And it came to pass that after he had smitten off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised up on his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died. " -Book of Mormon, Ether 15: 29-31


• Laban. "Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit, and took Laban by the hair of the head, and I smote off his head with his own sword."-Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 4:18


• David and Goliath. "And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth.
  
  So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David.
  
  Therefore David ran, and stood upon the Philistine, and took his sword, and drew it out of the sheath thereof, and slew him, and cut off his head therewith." -Bible, King James version, 1 Samuel 17:49-51
• Zemnarihah. "And their leader, Zemnarihah, was taken and hanged upon a tree, yea, even upon the top thereof until he was dead. And when they had hanged him until he was dead they did fell the tree to the earth, and did cry with a loud voice, saying:
  
  'May the Lord preserve his people in righteousness and in holiness of heart, that they may cause to be felled to the earth all who shall seek to slay them because of power and secret combinations, even as this man hath been felled to the earth.'"-Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 4:28-29

staple your ears to lose weight

Do you know that some people say stapling your ears can make you lose weight? Check it out (I found this here):

Question
I'm considering having my ears stapled to help me lose weight. Does this
work?
Answer
from Katherine Zeratsky, R.D., L.D.

Ear stapling for weight loss isn't likely to work — and it poses a
serious risk of infection.
Ear stapling is based loosely on the principles
of auricular acupuncture, which involves stimulating certain points on the ear
with fine needles. With auricular acupuncture, the needles are typically left in
place for only a short period of time — sometimes up to one week. With ear
stapling, small surgical staples are placed into the inner cartilage of each
ear. The staples are left in place for several months. Proponents of ear
stapling for weight loss claim that the staples stimulate a pressure point that
controls appetite.

Although some studies suggest that acupuncture can reduce appetite, ear
stapling hasn't been proved effective for weight loss. And the largely
unregulated practice of ear stapling can be dangerous if done in unsanitary
conditions or by an untrained practitioner. In fact, puncturing ear cartilage
poses a risk of serious infection and permanent disfigurement.

If you're overweight, don't depend on ear stapling for weight loss.
Instead, discuss proven weight-loss strategies with your doctor

To go along with the above picture of my ear, here is a picture of my nose. It looks rather frisky today, don't you think?